sábado, 26 de fevereiro de 2011

Today as in others before

I walked a long distance and I was focused. Time flew by. I had my head down, the world was happening as always, and as always, I had no control over anything. Nothing like, just go by without thinking. And then, I put my head up to get some air, that´s when I had nothing to grab. My eyes were heavy, and I could only stare…stare at the void. The silly thing is that I think I don´t even have the strenght to be angry. It feels like living a double life, one that is known and the other, that is a mistery. I never know what is coming, I never know what should I reach for. I suffer for others and for the part they have of me. I´m not sad, just empty: no emotions to worry about, no good feelings to be happy about, nothing keeps me up at night. I sleep like a rock and wake up the next morning feeling as numb as a few times before. I´m actually getting used to this, this blank that follows me from time to time, feels like guiding some voice of sorrow, maybe not mine.

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